Black Hat's Newest Proposal
by ShinnokRaiden99
Summary: One-shot. Black Hat's attempt to shoot his latest commercial goes awry, as per usual.


"Greetings, evildoers!"

With a brief flash of static, a grey-skinned being stood in the camera's view. Clad in his usual black, red and grey tuxedo, the man bared his blue fangs in a toothy smile. Hands clasped behind his back, he began to speak in his raspy Cockney accent.

"Black Hat here, with another revolutionary new device to deal with the despicable do-gooders in your life."

Following its cue, the camera immediately panned across to said device, an imposing red-purple machine with two glass chambers on either side. Within one of these chambers stood a quivering 5.0.5 while the other held a snarling doberman, both muzzled and leashed. Typing away at the machine's main console was the device's paper-bag-wearing inventor, Dr. Flug.

"The Black Hat Organization's Mind Transfer Machine!" Black Hat announced, striding into the shot. "With but the push of a button, you can exchange the minds of anything you fancy." He turned to the scientist. "Flug!"

Flug flinched and instantly shot up straight. "Right away, Mister Black Hat sir!" he announced, before pressing the glowing button on the side of the keyboard. The machine let out a low hum while the chambers filled with a green light. A burst of energy escaped the machine and when the light died down, 5.0.5 was now barking and gnashing his teeth, clawing at the sides of his container, while the doberman just let out a frightened whimper and placed its front paws over its head.

"Excellent, Flug!" Black Hat said with a wicked chuckle, before turning to face the camera. Flug cautiously moved to remove the exchanged bear and dog from the container, taking great care to keep the now-feral 5.0.5. at arm's length. Neither seemed to notice the familiar green-and-red-haired woman skittering into the shot and dropping from the ceiling behind Black Hat.

"With the MTM..." Black Hat continued to monologue with his back to the machine, oblivious as Demencia toyed with the console. "...you can render your enemies a non-threat by trapping them in a weak form, humiliating and neutralizing them in one fell swoop! You can-"

"Heyyyy, Black Hat~" Demencia slipped into the shot, sliding her arms around her idol with a giggle. Black Hat paused before gritting his teeth, grabbing his fangirl by the shirt.

"Get OUT of here, Demencia!" he ordered, shoving her away from him. She stumbled back, tripping and landing in one of the machine's chambers. "What have I told you about-"

"Wait! Nice doggy!" Flug's voice interrupted as the dog-brained experiment came crashing on-screen, hurling the unsuspecting Black Hat across the room and into the MTM's second chamber. Black Hat groaned and stood up, seeing his employee clinging to the rampaging beast's arm.

"Flug, you imbecile!" he growled, glaring at the scientist. "Will you hurry up and-"

He was cut off once more by Flug's yell as their creation hurled him through the air, slamming onto the MTM's console. The machine sprung to life and the chamber doors closed shut, sealing Black Hat and Demencia in. The businessman didn't even have time to swear at Flug's incompetence before a much greater burst of green energy filled the lab, blowing the insides of the MTM's main body apart. The camera's view distorted and glitched as it automatically pulled back to show a dazed Flug and the now-wrecked Mind Transfer Machine, smoke billowing from it. Two silhouettes could be made out as the smoke faded, revealing them to be Demencia and Black Hat, the former clutching to the latter by his shirt and gritting her teeth together.

"Demencia..." the young woman growled in a Cockney accent as the object of her affections giggled nervously. "I ought to-"

'She' froze and turned to the camera, seeing it was still rolling. The swapped Black Hat dropped his former body and adopted his usual expression of an evil grin, unmistakable even on Demencia's face. "...trap enemies, punish minions, or even create your own flawless disguise. Black Hat Organization's Mind Transfer Machine can do this and more! Order y-"

"Oooh, you're me and I'm you!" Demencia giggled, slithering up her old body's leg with a goofy grin on her face. "We're closer than ever before now~"

Black Hat frowned, cocking his new feminine hips to the side before swinging them against his old body's head, bumping Demencia out of the shot.

"Order your's today!" 


End file.
